In my fifth speech on October 10th of 2006 I gave a personal commentary on residential architecture. I was using my humor jones in this one. Take a look and I think you'll get a chuckle out of the entertaining angle that I was going for.

Much has been said about the change in neighborliness and civility over the years and I think I know the source of the problem. The antagonist my friends is the influx of wooden fortresses around contemporary back yards. The privacy fence is making us strangers and it really is the end of neighborly relationships. In my old neighborhood and in traditional neighborhoods around the country leaning over the chain link fence to chat with your neighbors was how you got to know the families on each side of you. In larger cities with alleys separating the streets or just fences separating the yards in the mini-subdivisions, that’s how you got to know the two or three families behind you on the other street. 

You didn’t just see each other coming and going to and from work between the front door and driveway or the back door and the garage. You spent at least a few moments each day getting to know each other better by talking about your day. Neighborhood watch? You could almost see completely down the row of back yards in either direction on your block. You kept an eye on each others kids and property to make sure both were exactly where they should be at all times.

Fortress fencing is the one thing I didn’t like about my house when we bought it almost nine years ago. The first thought that went thru my mind is “It has a biodegradable fence. This is a maintenance nightmare waiting to happen.” And sure enough years later I am regularly driving in loose nails or replacing warped and split boards twice a year – spring AND fall just so I don’t become the bane of the neighborhood. So you see, folks, we have to find a solution to this problem and you guessed it, I have that solution. I am calling for a moratorium on fortress fencing. The builders, contractors and wood suppliers may not like it but they’ll just have to suck it up, get over it and learn to like chain link.  

Am I over reacting? I don’t think so. And please don’t mistake this as pontificating on my part. As I stated earlier, everywhere you look we have become a neighborhood of strangers. So, for a moment let’s consider the perfect counter to these residential fort installations. Are your children too young just yet to play over each others houses? No problem. They can go in the back yard and talk to each other thru the fence while actually being able to see each other. What a novel idea. No more cocking your head sideways and squinting one eye to see between the planks. Toddlers could eyeball each other directly between the diamond shaped loops while trying to figure out who the other kid is. That’s how I met my first ever friend Viveca Fairbanks when we were babies. Bigger kids can play catch across the fence when their parents aren’t home and they can’t play in each other’s yard. And man, if you loose your ball or Frisbee into the next yard, just leap frog over and hustle back. This is especially fun and challenging if there’s a life threatening dog in the next yard. Easy as pie with four foot chain link, absolutely impossible with six foot pine slats.  

And ease of maintenance? It will take years for chain link to start rusting. When it does, silver or flat gray spray paint is the answer. Take it from a guy who’s had to do this before, there’s nothing like it. When the crossbars, upright supports or connecting joints start to loosen it’s no major task to tighten them up or replace parts. If you’re not handy with tools just find someone who is. And there’s very little chance of an entire section just (eeerrr…splat!) falling to the ground in a big rainstorm. We don’t have time to go into the details of this one. ‘Nother story for another day. 

Don’t like chain link? Has the neighborhood covenant limited your design options? Again, no problem. There are multiple varieties of decorative wrought iron fencing and it serves the exact same purpose. But, not only is it neighborly, it’s more sturdy, stylish and self maintaining than either of the other types. If you’re looking to add value to your property in the process there are fewer more outwardly attractive ways of doing so than this. It’s really classy stuff and worth checking into. 

A brief review of history shows that metal in all its forms has caused civilizations thru out time to advance ahead of others but I fear we are reverting to our former selves and it will be to our social detriment. So do your duty to the uplift and improvement of modern day society. Call your favorite contractor or home supply store. Put in an order of neighborly fencing and do your part to make neighborhoods everywhere more friendly and sociable once again.